Sisters in the Kore

A few days ago I received my packet from Women for Women International.  I have been matched with my sister.  She is a few years younger than I am, and lives in the Democratic Republic of Congo. She is married and cares for 9 children.  Nine.  I have two.  There are times when I struggle to keep my two children's schedules straight, make sure they are doing what they are supposed to be doing, homework is done, teeth brushed, and other sundry things. Sometimes, when I get to the end of the day, I sigh heavily "glad that one's over".

I wonder though, what are my sister's struggles?  She would not be part of W/W International if life was good.  The DRC is a mess. Hunger, war, local violence, sexual assault as a weapon of war...I wonder how many mornings my sister wakes up and wonders whether or not those 9 children will eat? My relationship with her is not about saving her.  She doesn't need saving.  She needs support.

Somehow, she got herself connected to W/W International.  She knows that, with support, she can do something about her circumstances. Over this next year, she has an opportunity.  An opportunity that she created by signing up on the waiting list with W/W International.  Over this next year, a monthly contribution (equals what we spend on pizza night for my kids) provides her with training, education, a support group, and a little financial support so she can move forward.

She isn't a name and a face in a photo.  She is someone I can create a relationship with.  I write to her and if she can, she will write back. We are linked.  As her life changes, so does mine.  This is what being a grunt, a marine in the trenches is all about.  I can't wait!

Be strong, Marine Kore strong!
T.

Happiness, Marine Kore Style!

Awareness is the first and essential step to erradicating anything.  Awareness about gender oppression and how it impacts all of us, every day--in every day life is the seed.  Without a seed, nothing germinates.  Okay.  Now, this creates a question.

What exactly is gender awareness supposed to germinate?

Awareness is like growing corn.  If I plant one kernel of corn, I get a corn plant.  My corn plant produces many more kernels.  One seed, many results.  So, I don't want to limit the possible germinations of awareness by answering the question too narrowly.  I do want to talk about one specific result that awareness produces because I think it is fundementally overlooked and fundamental to personal well-being.

Awareness produces response.  One of the facts that has evolved out of decades and decades of research into what makes for a happy human being, is the irrefutable truth that happiness is directly related to having an impact.  When we feel that what we are doing has value 'out there', we are happier.  My basic state of well-being improves when I can point to something bigger than myself and say, I am a part of that. I have known a number of people who's daily lives were tumbling.  Finances in the tank, love relationships cratering, problems with their kids, death and loss...and yet, many of these people still reported being happy, at least some of the time. 

All of these people were involved in something bigger than themselves.  This doesn't have to mean selling all your posessions and live in the DRC or Mumbai as a missionary.  It can mean volunteering once in a while in a community garden, sponsoring a microloan for a woman in Rwanda, walking for breast cancer research, teaching your kids why recycling is really so important,...it can be anything. I know a couple who, instead of recycling their newspapers, collects them for a month and takes them to a local animal shelter.  The shelter has a great need for donated newsprint.  Who knew?  We think animal shelters just need money and people to walk the dogs...not so.

Finding out how you can be a part of something bigger than yourself doesn't mean you have to figure it all out on your own either.  Maybe start by getting clear what you can't do (like move to Mumbai).  Call the organization that captures your interest and say: Hey, I want to help.  What are the ways you could use my support?  If you know where your initial limitations are, it will be easier to figure out how you can contribute.

Be Happy.  Be Involved.

Marine Kore Strong!
T.

Missing In Action

A series of studies conducted in the early to mid 1990's highlight a startling truth.  Based on a variety of biologic factors, there should be a slightly higher percentage of females than males on the planet. 

If you remember anything from freshman biology, this little tidbit does not come as a big surprise.  Women live longer than men and infant females tend to be physically stronger than infant males. Evolutionary biologists say, as a species, we need more females than males.  One male can produce multiple offspring simultaneously via multiple partners.  One female can only produce one offspring at a time minus the occasional set of twins (or the use of fertility meds). Need more women to keep the species going.

The startling truth to these studies was not the biology trivia lesson.  It was this...

Based on biological reality, there are between 60 million and 100 million females human beings missing from the planet.

Missing.  MIA.


Begs the question; where did they all go?  The answer isn't pretty. Here are a few of the scientifically evidenced reasons for this frightening truth:

honor killings
AIDS deaths (teenagers sold into prostitution by age 12 die before they are 20)
Genocide
Rape/Murders as acts of war & village disputes
Sanctioned suicides for rape victims
Passive murder due to gender bias (allowing infant girls to die)
Maternal mortality
Death resulting from eating disorders

Let's take this conversation away from human rights for just a minute and just look at the economic impact.  60 to 100 million fewer laborers producing goods and services. 60 to 100 million fewer incomes being poured into the economy through purchases. 60 to 100 million fewer minds solving problems such as cancer, nuclear disarmament, etc.  What if one of those missing minds had the cure for cancer?  I imagine someone else will find the cure eventually, but it is worth thinking about the global impact of all these missing girls and women.

change the lives of women, change the world...
T.

Eyes Forward!

Eyes forward young lady!

Sounds like a reprimand. Something I probably heard from a matriarchal teacher because I was looking out the window instead of learning about transitive verbs.  Eyes forward though, was one of the instructions that came with my new pair of walking shoes.

Okay, so first off I have to deal with the fact that my shoes came with an instruction manual. The instruction manual was accompanied by an instructional DVD, I am guessing for those of us who prefer not to read?  I wore the shoes for three days before I broke down and read the instructions.  My curiousity finally got the better of me.  Now that I have read the manual, I can't decide if I am embarrassed or impressed.  I actually learned something about how to how to walk in my new shoes after reading the manual.

The instructions told me I needed to keep my eyes up and looking directly out in front of me while walking.  This would help the construction of the shoe tone my core, and improve my posture.  My next adventure in my shoes was a trip to the grocery store; so I gave it a try. Eyes forward walking made reading my grocery list a little challenging, so I allowed downward glances.  I decided holding the piece of paper out in front of my face as I walked down the aisle had the potential for disaster written all over it. 

Interestingly, the shoe manufacturers were right. Eyes forward dramatically improved my posture.
I noticed something else too.  I noticed how many women were walking with their eyes slightly lowered.  Perhaps the grocery store was just like that.  The next time out in my new shoes, I watched again.  Same results. 

I started wondering.  What message do I communicate with my eyes turned downward?  I am not looking out at my world so much as casting furtive glances.  Is it an effort to be invisible?  Don't see me, don't judge me, don't threaten me? Is it an effort to avoid what I do not want to see?  My life, my present, my past, my future?  I noticed the men too.  Their gazes tended to be more 'eyes forward'.

If my gaze is forward I say to myself and to others...I am here.  I see and I am seen.  Although I have my moments of self-doubt, I am not usually described as lacking in confidence. I am more likely to be described as lacking in humility rather than lacking in self-esteem.  Funny thing though....wearing my instructions-required shoes with my 'eyes forward'....I felt stronger.

So I thought I would pass this along.  Women of the Marine Kore, Eyes Forward!  This is not matriarchal correction.  Eyes forward is coaching for strength.  When one woman feels stronger, she empowers her sisters.

Be Strong, Marine Kore Strong;
T.




 

...when good wo/men do nothing.

If we look back across time, different social programs designed to combat poverty, hunger, abuse, and other issues often fall short of hyped up expectations. Idealists eloquently draw hopeful agents of change into rhetoric that doesn't have a whole heck of a lot of substance. When it comes time to roll up our shirt sleeves and dig in to make change happen, there is no map to follow. The game plan has only one or two plays and when those plays fail, no one knows exactly what to do next.

Helping each other can be hard work. It is hard work for a lot of different reasons. One reason though, is that helping is  hard because the helpers have; wait for it...control issues. We want to control how our "help" is used.

If I am a conservative pro-life Christian, my time and my money had better not go into programs that support abortion. If I am liberal and pro-choice, I don't want you to pay for programs teaching abstinence (because I don't believe they work). If I am Muslim or Jewish, I don't want my money to pay for Christian evangelists who insist on conversion before they offer aid. If I am going to help, I want to control what happens to my money.  I want to know my donations reach the people.  I am not making a donation so high-brow executives can have $50.00 lunches. I could go on and on.

We want control. I say we, because I definitely play a part. I don't care much for the ideological battles of religion, but I care a great deal about where my money goes. Not that I begrudge anyone that $50.00 lunch. I do; however, take issue with my money being used to pay the tab.

Okay. So we like control. Enough said. Now, get off of it. Define your needs and issues. Get clear what you will and will not support. Do your homework. Find an organization you feel good about supporting, and give. Time, money, cast-offs, you pick. You believe in what you believe for a reason.  With that belief, you have tremendous influence.  If you remain silent in words or in action, someone...somewhere...loses out.

The question isn't about whether or not you make a difference; the question, is how will you use that difference?

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good (women) men to do nothing." Edmund Burke knew what he was talking about.

change the lives of women, change the world
T.

What do Junior High and Health Care Reform Have in Common?

Right now Republicans are shouting REPEAL, REPEAL (revenge, revenge). Democrats are saying...Oh Yeah? Bring it! Someone's cutting gas lines. Our representatives have police protection. A University Professor with Parkinson's is verbally berated by men in white shirts and ties "here...I'll pay for you!"...throwing dollar bills at him.

Anyone else feel like we are back in junior high? A nation of freedom and open debate. A country founded on those inalienable rights; whatever!

In the meantime, maternal mortality in the U.S. is higher than in some (of what we call) 'third world' countries. 1 in 6 U.S. women will experience some form of sexual violence in her lifetime; under 25 and you are at the greatest risk.

Oh, and here's a little story... A bright, intelligent woman in her early fifties complains repeatedly of a series of symptoms. She tells her doctor I think I am menopausal and I'd like to discuss bio-identical hormone replacement. The doctor says, your lab work says you are not menopausal. She says it's been two years since I had a period. The doctor says the lab work says you are not menopausal. This goes on for over a year. Finally, the doctor says here's the name of a therapist...make an appointment. The woman makes the appointment. The therapist suggests the woman might want to get a second opinion. The woman does.

Two years after experiencing life-impairing symptoms the second opinion says let's try you on some bio-identicals. The symptoms all but disappear. Two years. That's a long time to struggle; needlessly. But, it's only hormones...right? The struggle nearly cost this woman her job.

Maybe all this junior high locker room health care reform craziness would be better channeled into authentic changes in health care. If a woman's body was sacred there would be no 1 in 6 statistic on sexual violence (which is likely an underestimate). A woman paying attention to the signs of her own body would be respected. Pregnant women would not die because because they were engaging their reproductive function. The authors of Half the Sky comment that if men started dying as a result of engaging in their reproductive function, medicine would be falling all over itself finding a solution! Think about it, a man engages in sex. His partner becomes pregnant. He keels over dead. Damn skippy we'd be looking for a solution!

I am sure that we need to do something with the health care system. I am the last person to even suggest what the Washington D.C. solution should look like. However, those of us down here in the trenches can be making our own changes in health care by adding just a wee bit of respect into the mix.

change the lives of women, change the world.
T.

Minivan Mamma's: The New Counter-Terrorism Task Force

There are roughly 152,819, 203 million women in the U.S. according to the 2006-2008 Census Bureau survey. Approximately 27% are under the age of 20.

There may be as many as 12.5 million women/girls in Afghanistan. Because there hasn't been a solid census in Afghanistan since 1979, these numbers are projections of projections. This is probably a high estimate (given the number of women who are murdered in honor killings, etc.).

Remember these numbers. I'll come back to them at the end.
_______________________________________________________

In the book, Half the Sky, the authors report on a Joint Chiefs of Staff meeting that took place in (2008). In this meeting, there was an unusual agenda item.

The Joint Chiefs talked about terrorism...not unusual. They also talked about the plight of women and girls in countries like Afghanistan. That's an odd agenda item for a bunch of military power-hitters. Why would all that brass want to chat about whether or not Afghani girls were going to school? Why would the Joint Chiefs care whether or not Afghani women could financially support themselves? Their children?

Fascinating thing, this is. You see, there seems to be a strong correlation to terrorism and the education/independence of women. Raise the education levels of the girls and increase the number of women who can eek out a survivable wage, and the seeds of terrorism are less likely to germinate. Huh? Go figure!

I'm not a fear monger by any means, but terrorism is a continued threat to U.S. military and civilians. I am doing something about that. By supporting aid to women and girls in Afghanistan, I am advancing the education and personal sustainability for girls/women in that country.

I am an army against terrorism. So are you. This is not idealism, the numbers back me up.

Based on those statistics at the top, if only 10 percent of U.S. women over the age of 20 offer financial support to Afghanistan's women and girls, every single female in Afghanistan will be matched (statistically anyway).

Yes, there are problems with the aid actually making it to every single girl and woman. The point is, if those of us who can offer support actually do it, then 10 percent of the women in the U.S. have conceivably done a better job curbing the growth of terrorism in Afghanistan than the military. If you can spare about $25.00/month, you are a member of this force. That's about all it takes to directly sponsor a woman in Afghanistan through organizations like Women for Women International. There are dozens of ways to make a difference, this is just one.

Think about it.

T.
change the lives of women, change the world


Resources for this blog:
Kristof, N. & WuDunn, S. (2009). Half the sky. New York: NY. Alfred Knopf-Random House, Inc.

http://factfinder.census.gov/servlet/STTable?_bm=y&-geo_id=01000US&-qr_name=ACS_2008_3YR_G00_S0101&-ds_name=ACS_2008_3YR_G00_&-redoLog=false

http://www.irinnews.org/report.aspx?reportid=20554